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Things you may not have known about MC Hammer. He used to work for the Oakland A’s as a batboy. He was honorably discharged from the Navy. He was born Stanley Kirk Burrell. When he was at his peak he purchased the the following items: $75K worth of mirrors for his bathroom, recording studio, $2 million in Italian marble for floor-to-ceiling marble walls, bowling alley, a stop sight engraved “Hammertime!,” basketball courts, gold chains for his rotweilers, a DeLorean, Etruscan sculpture, thoroughbred horses and a Rolls Royce. A friend of mine was working at a university when Hammer showed up to look at the religious music program for his daughter.

All of this goes to show that you never know what is going to happen next and that being able to buy new things isn’t all that it is cracked up to be, as we learned in today’s Best/Worst Finds QOTD. If you don’t believe us, ask Yurikaze:

Oh.
Wait.
Forget everything I just said.
One time I was at a pick-a-part, and this 40-something cracked out tweaker woman was running around the yard yelling random things at people, like “It hit you in the mouth with your cock wrench!”

Well, she came up to this Grizzly Adams looking guy, with a really dirty beard and bloodshot eyes, and started thumping him in the chest, and yelling obscenities at him.
He gets up, throws his toolbox down, and pulls out this 2′ long Sledgehammer.
AND MAKES A COUPLE SWINGS AT HER!

At this point everyone else in the junkyard has quit anything they were doing, to see how “hammertime” would play out.

He ended up chasing her down the aisle, and broke off the attack after that.

While waiting in line to pay for my parts, I saw tweaker woman again.

She was stroking the hair of a mild-mannered looking middle aged mexican guy, who looked extremely uncomfortable and ill at ease during the whole ordeal.

We’re assuming that is filed under “Worst.”

[Source: MC Hammer]

Original post by Matt Hardigree

For Mustang-loving fan boys, we’re thinking the above first glimpse of the headlight design on the 2010 Ford Mustang is the equivalent of a celeb crotch-shot. So what can we tell from this new spy photo from KGP? Well, it looks like — well — like nothing Giugiaro made. Full report from the sneaky spies of KGP below.

galleryPost(’2010FordMustangHeadSpy’, 3, ‘Ford Gives Us A Little Bit Of Head’);

We just caught our first uncovered look at the headlight design destined for the 2010 Mustang. Past prototypes have hinted at a little chrome trim residing behind the headlight camouflage, and now we can see what was truly lurking behind the disguise. While the overall grille layout still appears to take some inspiration from the Giugiaro Mustang concept, it’s now clear that the headlights are going their own, retro way.

Original post by Matt Hardigree

After the fur filled car, we thought we’d seen the worst of automotive personalization. A car covered with animal bits is not only a PETA nightmare, every version we’d seen involved slapdash construction. And then we saw this Citroen Saxo. Ignore the body kit and the two-door suicide doors. Ignore the rims, paint, hydraulics. Ignore, if you can, the speakers and entertainment system. Set these trivial observations aside and take time to realize this little euro hatchback is covered in snakeskin. Seriously. Actual snakeskin that has been sewn into the body panels. According to Car Styling Tips, snakeskin doesn’t shrink or crack like leather, and is therefore ideal for this kind of conversion. We want to hate it so much but at this point, we’re still in awe of the craftsmanship that went into making this a functional vehicle.

galleryPost(’snakesaxo’, 3, ‘Must Resist Snakes On Plane Joke’);
[Car Styling Tips]

Original post by Matt Hardigree

Our friends at Japanese Nostalgic Car recently went to the Z-Car West Coast Nationals in Silverado, California. As you’d imagine, there was quite a selection of tasty vintage Datsuns and some newer Nissans too. We just love the timeless proportions of a long hood and sloping back on the older Datsuns, so we’ve included a gallery of some of our favorites. If you wanna see more, there’s plenty to check out over at Japanese Nostalgic Car.

galleryPost(’JNCdatsunZ’, 6, ‘It Is Pronounced “Zed” ‘);

Original post by Mark Arnold

It pains us to hear it, but everyone is up in arms lately over the racing wins by Danica Patrick and Ashely Force. One of the lingering stances on the matter (and one we heard on that bastion of common sense: talk radio) is that the women have every right to compete and win because racing relies mostly on the car, and not the competitor. Well, anybody whose driven a car faster than 65 mph knows that a car can put strain on the body. Wired put together an excellent infographic detailing parts of the body and what a 200-plus mph can do to it. Click the picture above or the link below to see it in its full glory. If anything, being a race car driver is harder on women who generally have smaller body frames than men, possibly making their victories even more impressive. Now, let the debate begin! [Wired]

Original post by Travis Hudson

Al Navarro is a co-founder of Mint Advertising, an independent advertising agency in New Jersey. On occasion we ask him to talk about certain topics in advertising. Today’s not one of those days. Today he’s talking about something even more near and dear to his heart — Jalopnik. He also drives a Caterham Superlight R (albeit for just a few more weeks), so don’t front.

I’ve been hanging around the halls of the Jalopnik for nearly 2 years now. And I’ve seen a lot of writers and commenters come and go. Lately, it seems like the postviews as well as the commenteriat have grown by leaps and bounds. And for the most part, I welcome the new additions and new energy.

However, I have noticed some less than positive comments over the past few months by some of the newer screen names (and some not so new). I have always looked to the Jalop as a refuge from the usual “Suck it, f-wad…my [INSERT MAKE AND MODEL OF PREFERRED CAR HERE] rulz over all [INSERT OTHER MAKE AND MODEL HERE]” and “So-and-so is a buttaface.” antics that are readily available in other corners of the Internet. And so, inspired by Anna Holmes’ “Girl’s Guide to Commenting on Jezebel”, I propose the following words to live by:

Read the comments before commenting yourself.
No really. It’s one thing to be eager to chime in on a particular topic, and another thing entirely to ignore the comments logged so far in pursuit of adding your two cents ASAP.

By not reading comments before posting your own, you are showing a lack of respect for your fellow commenters and setting yourself up for the dreaded “totally redundant comment”. Yes, we understand that sometimes the Gawker Media hamster slows down sufficiently so that you may miss some comments while penning your own brilliant entry — but by all means at least try to review what’s been already said before adding your voice to the conversation. It generally doesn’t take that much time to scan comments as long as the count is under 100, so do it.

Read your own comment several times before hitting that “submit” button.
Until Gawker Media institutes an “edit” feature, the only way to make sure your comments turn out just as you intended is to carefully proofread them before posting. Did you mean “you’re” when you wrote “your”? “It’s” when you meant “Its”? The little “Preview Comment” feature is very helpful for this sort of quality control, btw.

Taking this breather before submitting a comment may also save you from a case of commentarhea…there are plenty of times where I have a comment sitting there in the preview screen that I re-read and then end up deleting — no need to add that particular thought to the flow of things. And I think my commenting reputation (see that star?) has benefited from these deletions.

Do your part to make Jalopnik a club of gentlemen, not a “gentlemen’s club”.
It’s no surprise that the readership and commenter pool of Jalopnik is predominately male. But this fact does not give you carte blanche to act like a total asshat, especially on posts that have to do with women — whether racers or booth babes trade show booth professionals.

Overly reactionary or chauvinist comments to the brave women who do chose to share their opinions here (many of them visitors from other Gawker sites) are also unbecoming. Plus they do wonders for maintaining our poor male-female ratio.

The ability to remain anonymous in commenting allows people to say things that they might not otherwise say. And many times, as when industry types comment, this is a great thing.

But if you are not an industry type (and even if you are), please do not abuse this freedom. A good rule of thumb is not to write anything you’d be ashamed to show your mother, wife, lifepartner, or child. Trust me, people who go against this guideline end up looking very silly.

So where do you stand on cursing?
I’m sure many of the readers log on to Jalopnik from their place of work. And, from what I’ve been told, many places of work frown on sites that contain profanity (nudity, too). Some even have filters and wheel-running hamsters of their own to police this sort of thing.

And so, in the interest of making the Jalop accessible to all, it’s probably a good idea to try and limit your use of curse words when commenting. Want more reasons? See the last paragraph of the previous section.

Again, that’s not to say swearing is verboten, but it should only be used if it’s adding value to the substance of your comment. By the way, being childlike is not what is meant by “substance.”

Racism, Classism, Sexism, and other -isms are always unwelcome. As are homophobia, xenophobia, and many of the other -phobias.
No explanation necessary.

Make every comment as an opportunity to win COTD.
There are some folks on here of whom I am in daily awe. I’m a copywriter by trade, and I’m truly stunned by the eloquence of many of my fellow commenters. Those stars are wll earned, dadgummit.

Touching or revealing personal stories, clarifications or corrections of posts and/or other comments, and attempts to educate readers about the topic at hand or some semi-related one, are always welcome. Articulate oppositions to opinions, too. And of course, do all you can to introduce the literary, musical, gastronomic (which I use here in a loose sense that includes beer and other fine beverages), and the obscure into the discourse.

Oh, and while I’m at it…remember that you all have the power to recommend fellow commenters for COTD. Like the power of self-restraint, I advise you use this power often.

Beware the one liner.
The temptation to dash off a clever and pithy phrase looms large. But as with stand-up comedians, it takes a very good one liner to get a laugh these days. A comment thread filled with one-liners can start to sound like a bad text message stream. Between teenagers. Poorly educated teenagers. There are exceptions to this rule, of course (like the recent Bond test driver post), but in general, I’d avoid it.

I’m sure I’ve opened up my very own pandora’s box of haterade by penning this, but as the kids say, whatevs. Someone had to say it. BTW, when I discussed the possibility of writing this piece with Ray, he suggested the headline. Not bad for the guy in the virtual corner office.

I’m sure I’ll be adding to these guidelines in the future, but feel free to add your own words of advice below.

Original post by Ray Wert

Floating around the policy wonk-o-sphere and on the front page of most of the news dailies today is this idea of a temporary holiday on Federal gas taxes for the summer driving season. Presidential candidates Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) and Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-copycat) have hopped on the “good idea” bandwagon, while Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) rides on the “not-so-good idea” wagon-for-one. Analysts at the Urban-Brookings Tax Policy Center, along with Greg Mankiw, former chairman of George W. Bush’s Council of Economic Advisers are both saying “Not so fast!” Heck, even Bush’s spokeswoman Dana Perino is saying it’s a bad idea. Seems these economics experts think that something crazy called “Supply and demand” will cause consumption to rise as prices fall, and since capacity is at a peak, prices will just go back to where they were before the tax holiday.

Of course then the tax holiday would end and the 18.4 cents on the gallon tax would be added right on top. Clinton even went on to advocate for paying off the hole in the budget which would be left by levying a windfall tax on the huge profits of the oil companies. Now, we’re not really whooping and hollering at the idea of high gas prices, but discouraging the profit motive of corporate energy producers in favor of short term political gains seems like a recipe for disaster. Who knew you could mix two different disaster recipes from the same list of ingredients? Oh, and let’s not forget the additional consumption would mean additional profits for big oil, something that would just rub salt in the wounds of the fuel-buying public — especially given the record profits released today by the two biggest oil-producing companies. [Reuters via Yahoo News]
photo from redstatearizona

Original post by Ben Wojdyla

If the world needed any more proof that Americans are some fattie mcfatties, we present the French-Fry Holder. This $10 device fits in cup holders and holds a standard cardboard container of french fries. It even has a small holder for ketchup, for those fattersons that need to add a little more flavor (and sodium) to their deep-fried potato sticks. A no-slip grip secures the device in any cup-holder to prevent any wasted fries. Weren’t French fries designed to be the perfect food while driving? Sure, we’re all about driving safety, which this device addresses, but we wonder if the morbid-nature of this product outweighs its positives. [Product Page via Likecool]

Original post by Travis Hudson

A lot of people think VW’s upcoming Scirocco could use a little more oomph under the hood. The stock engines are rated from 122 HP to 200 HP, but this new version has a 300 HP version of the 2.0-liter TFSI inline-four. That’s because the car has been race-prepped specifically for next month’s 24-hour endurance race at the Nürburgring.

Yep, this little fastback will be in the same race as the Gumpert Apollo Hybrid and the Lexus LF-A. Sadly, there are currently no plans for a version of the race car to hit the streets, but who knows. After all, the Aston Martin V8 Vantage N24 started life as a specially-built car for this same race just a couple years ago.
[CarScoop]

Original post by Mark Arnold

Many of you have been sending in great DOTSBE photos (and I’ll get to all of them, sooner or later), but today I just had to share this daily-driven big Olds that I often see parked near my office in San Francisco’s South of Market neighborhood. Parking is a swirling, sanity-eradicating nightmare in this part of town, with its big office buildings all around and the Giants’ ballpark a couple blocks away, but this 41-year-old Delta 88 sedan has the special handicapped placard that enables it to ease right into a nice fat blue space right in the heart of everything. It’s a beater, but it drives every day!

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Original post by Murilee Martin